Leading Worship vs. Actually Worshipping
Wednesday, September 3, 2008 at 07:38AM Can we have it both ways?
I was reading Beth Brawley's Sept. 1 post, a description of her worship set, and in the middle she says:
I started this set from the piano as the band went down to take communion; they trickled back in to sneak into the song by the time we were at the second verse of 'Once Again'. It was a gift to me, the opportunity to just sit and play by myself for a minute. Yesterday was a bit of a challenge for me emotionally, so the chance to simply worship in a comfortable spot was healing.
Here's the key phrase: 'worship in a comfortable spot'. After my many years onstage as a leader - or even 'just' as a musician - I stopped trying to enter into worship. It'd work for a minute, and then I'd get lost, miss a cue, or even play actual bad, wrong notes. Getting lost, when you're the leader, is, well, it's not good.
Just read this yesterday in Steve Martin's book "Born Standing Up", in which he talks about his years as a stand-up comic:
Enjoyment while performing was rare--enjoyment would have been an indulgent loss of focus that comedy cannot afford.
I suppose this brings up the old debate about worship vs. performance, but I never really felt bad about my inability to 'enter in' while I was playing onstage. It was a different kind of experience, one that the folks in the congregation would never have. I should probably explain: I rarely actually 'led' worship. I was the Instrumental Director, and as such it was my job, during the worship sets, to support the person actually leading.
The bewitching hour has come - gotta stop posting and leave to help a friend with a song demo. I'm halfway through 'That Lucky Old Sun', so maybe more on that tonight.
If you're a Sunday Musician, I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Reader Comments (4)
I'm not sure on this one. I think it is a both/and situation. For the better part of 5 years I have priimarily been in the "worship leader" seat. There is a part of leadership that has to keep the ship upright and yet there is a part of leadership that has be real, alive and in the moment. The more prepared and proficient I am vocally and spiritually...I am free to spring board off of what is going on. If I am with a band it is CRUCIAL that they are prepared and well...GOOD..the kind of players that work with me and can feel the flow. But I believe that part of our leadership role is that...leadership. It isn't always a personal time for me. That happens when I'm alone at my piano. What happens for me is observing and trying to move with what is happening in the room with however many souls come to worship. Do people need encouragement...do they need quiet..do they need a kind reassuring word...I try to read their body posture and eyes. All the while I am singing to bring God up......I'm not sure I make sense.....I'm not sure I'm right.....this is just what happens with me
When you're actually the one leading worship, like you do (and for those reading, I've backed Randi up many times when she led. She's really good.), it's 'lonely at the top' time. Your charge is to actually 'enter in', and then lead people to do the same. I have a lot of respect of people who can do this. I've done it off and on, but it's really not my bag.
Ed - just found this...
I'm not sure I can adequately explain where I am with this. But I want to try.
When we get to Sunday a.m., I have no doubt that I'm 'leading' - but I'm leading the BAND in our worship. I keep an eye on the crowd, try to be sensitive - often I'm backing a lead vocalist, but still leading the crowd as well - but I am at the place where my role is that of 'lead worshiper' in the truest sense. My responsibility is to know my stuff SO WELL that there is no lack of confidence in where we are going or how we will get there - whether it is in the transitions, the tunes themselves - lyrics, chords, whatever. I have to be completely prepared so that our band - amateurs, volunteers - can be free to worship as well. We want to model authentic worship in a way that transcends just 'good music' and becomes something that magnifies God, that reflects his glory.
So, for me, EVERY week I'm 'there'. I let go, I worship. All the work is in the prep, and by the time we're in church, I just want to play music for Jesus and live out his grace and truth in front of those who come to see and participate. I leave the worship of the people up to God and the movement of His spirit, but - again - I am very careful in our prep and planning to put together things that make sense.
It doesn't always work smoothly; we drop notes, miss moments, etc. But for the most part, this is the way things flow for me and for my team.
It wasn't always like this; not until I was completely broken in ministry and off the stage for a few years. When I came back, I was a different person.
But that's another story.
Good stuff, Beth. Maybe it needs to be framed a different way. I know what you mean - it isn't like I'm not worshipping. But the luxury of 'losing myself' can't be taken. The last time I went to Willow Creek, maybe eight years ago, for an Arts Conference, I found myself entering in, in a way I couldn't at home, even when I was just in the audience. I had no stake in it, so I just...let it take me someplace. Maybe that's what I mean - I can't let the worship experience 'take me someplace', because I've been charged with directing it to take somebody else somewhere.
On good days, though, I feel like God takes me someplace, and then I take others with me. Come to think of it, that's what you said above, only better...
As for you story, when you're ready to tell it, I think we'd all benefit. I'm sort of working up to tell my own.